What We Inherit: Generational Trauma and the Patterns We Pass On
A 60-minute session on what families hand down without meaning to: the slap, the silence, the apology that arrives as a plate of cut fruit, the father who never says it, the money habits we can't shake. Which of these patterns are ours to keep and which should stop with us? Twelve independent cards; open three or four.
The opening question
What's one habit of your mother's or father's that you've caught yourself doing?
Everyone in the room answers this in one line before any card is opened. Write the answers down; you will come back to them.
The cards
12 ways into the topic
Each card is independent. Your group votes on which to open, and four or five is plenty for an hour. Behind every card sit three prompts, one at a time, that only appear once it is opened on the board. Unopened cards keep for next time.
- 1
Sounding Like Your Parents
You're tired and someone isn't listening. Then a sentence comes out of your mouth. It's your mother's sentence, in your mother's voice.
- 2
Getting Hit As A Child
When you were small, a slap or a chappal was normal. Everyone you knew got the same. Now people say it was wrong.
- 3
Parents Who Never Say Sorry
Your mum shouted at you for something that wasn't your fault. She never said sorry. An hour later, she brought you a plate of cut mango.
- 4
Fathers Who Don't Show Feelings
Your father worked hard and paid for everything. But he never hugged you or said he was proud. He just asked about your marks.
- 5
Money Habits From Home
You earn your own money now. But you still keep plastic bags inside a plastic bag. Buying something just because you like it feels a little wrong.
- 6
Being The Eldest Daughter
You're the oldest girl. You helped with homework, calmed the fights and knew where everything was. Nobody asked you. It was just your job.
- 7
The Mother-In-Law Cycle
As a young bride, she was ordered around and never allowed an opinion. Now she's the mother-in-law. And she's doing the same thing.
- 8
Telling Parents They Hurt You
Something from your childhood still hurts. You've thought about telling your parents.
- 9
Not Everything Is Trauma
Maybe some of it was just a strict childhood.
- 10
Family Stories Nobody Tells
Your grandfather never talks about where he grew up. When anyone asks, he changes the subject. But he still keeps cash hidden around the house.
- 11
Raising Kids Differently
You've promised yourself your kids will have it different. No shouting, no comparing, lots of talking.
- 12
The Good Things Passed Down
We talk a lot about the hurt our families passed down. But you also got your grandmother's stubbornness and your father's way with people.
The line to leave with
Of everything you inherited, which piece would you choose to hand on, and which piece should stop with you?
More boards,more ways in.
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