Women's Safety: The Mental Load of Being a Woman

The opening question

Each card is independent. Your group votes on which to open, and four or five is plenty for an hour. Behind every card sit three prompts, one at a time, that only appear once it is opened on the board. Unopened cards keep for next time.

1. 1

   Texting When You Reach Home

   You leave a friend's place at night. Before you go, she says, “Text me when you reach.” You always do. Your brother has never once been asked.

2. 2

   The Safety Checklist In Your Head

   Before you leave, you check your phone battery. In the auto, you note the number plate. On the street, you notice who's behind you.

3. 3

   Different Rules For Daughters

   Your brother can come home at eleven. You have to be back by eight. When you ask why, someone says, “It's different for girls.”

4. 4

   Dressing For The Journey

   You love the dress. But you're taking the bus home late tonight. So you add a jacket, or a dupatta, or change your mind altogether.

5. 5

   Walking Behind A Woman At Night

   You're walking home at night. A woman is ahead of you, alone. She glances back once, then walks faster. You've done nothing at all.

6. 6

   Man Or Bear In The Woods

   Someone asks: would you rather be stuck alone in a forest with a strange man, or a bear? Lots of women pick the bear. Lots of men are hurt by that.

7. 7

   Pepper Spray And Self-Defence

   Your mother buys you pepper spray. Your college runs a self-defence class just for girls. You feel a little braver, and a little annoyed.

8. 8

   Being Polite To Stay Safe

   A stranger on the bus won't stop talking to you. You don't like it.

9. 9

   Travelling Alone As A Woman

   You want to take a trip alone. Just you and a backpack. Your family asks, “Who's going with you?” When you say nobody, the room goes quiet.

10. 10

    Stepping In When Someone's Harassed

    On a crowded bus, a man is bothering a girl. She looks uncomfortable. Everyone sees it. Nobody says a thing, including you.

11. 11

    What We Teach Our Sons

    Girls hear it all the time: don't stay out late, watch your drink, be careful. Boys hear almost nothing.

12. 12

    Too Many Warnings For Girls

    Since you were small, everyone has told you how dangerous the world is.